The Test
by Hisa-Ai
Summary: One line pregnant; two lines not. Ness.


**So about a month or so ago, sophiemanic over on tumblr made a few requests pertaining to New Girl fanfiction. This is the first of three and I apologize, Sophie, for taking so long to get around to this. I promise I'll try to be quicker with the other two.**

**I don't really have much to say about this, other than the fact that Nick and Jess are obviously dating here and have been for some time. So, yeah. Just enjoy.**

**And Sophie? I hope this is sort of what you had in mind. If not, you let me know and I'll work on another for you.**

**(And just remember: in high stress situations, mistakes are easy to come by.)**

**Disclaimer: **Sweetheart, if I owned New Girl, I'd make it so it was filmed in front of a live audience of fangirls. Yeah, _fangirls_. As in: _us_. We'd be sitting there, watching them fuck up and have to do the kiss scenes, like, fifty thousand times. We'd all be dead by the end of the shoot, but damnit if we wouldn't die happy!

* * *

**Fic:**

She was never late.

Like, _never._

Her first instinct was to panic, call Cece or Nick or Sadie or _someone_. Hell, she even thought about calling Schmidt or even Winston but quickly shook herself out of it.

She was just being silly.

Hormonal even.

Maybe PMSing.

Just because she didn't get it the second she woke up didn't mean she wouldn't get it. She just needed to wait, be patient, and _not_ freak out.

And she didn't.

She took a deep breath and she went on with her day, trying to be her usual cheerful self and not worry about missing her period, though in the back of her mind, she knew it was something to worry about.

Her fears were proven to be correct when she woke up the next morning wrapped in Nick's arms, and felt a wave of nausea wracking her body, sweat making her hair stick to her forehead… She broke free of Nick's grasp and ran from the room to the bathroom, Nick jolting awake at the loss of her warmth and assessing things, trying to decide whether he needed to follow her or not.

She knew then, as she emptied her stomach into the toilet bowl, nose stinging, mouth tasting of bile and too much salt, that she wasn't just late, she was _late_. She was pregnant.

Nick came up behind her, grabbed her hair and held it back in silence as she continued to throw up. He rubbed her back as he shouted to Schmidt to bring him some ginger ale for her and for Winston to hurry up in the shower so Jess cold clean up when she was feeling better.

Jess' stomach knotted as she continued to throw up, Nick was being so caring, so nice… she felt herself choke on a sob as her stomach clenched, reminding her of the fact that she was now growing a life inside of her.

What were they going to _do_?

Finally – finally! – she froze over the toilet, spitting merely bile into the bowl instead of any sort of food. Nick reached around her and flushed the toilet, wrapping his arms around her carefully as they both waited to see if she really was done.

"Are you okay, babe?" Nick finally asked when it became clear that she was done. For now. He stood up and gently helped her to her unsteady feet as she nodded, not trusting her own mouth to open just yet.

Thankfully, Nick didn't quite believe her, so he kept his arms around her as she walked to the sink to rinse and brush her teeth, Nick's concern looking down at her in the mirror. She adverted her gaze, the fluttering in her stomach undecipherable in her current state.

Well, there was no use denying it now, not to herself, anyway.

She was pregnant.

No more denial.

"Everything all right here?" Schmidt asked, finally appearing with a glass of ginger ale. Nick shrugged and handed the glass to Jess. To busy her mouth, she sipped it daintily, wondering if it would even help any in her current state.

"She… threw up. Like, _a lot_. Do you think she's sick or something?" he mused, taking in her current condition.

Schmidt went on a nice little tirade about quarantining her if she was **– **she had mentioned something before about the stomach flu going around at her school; the _last thing_ he needed was to catch it, thank you very much! Nick's glare told him more than enough to get him to shut up, however; he would either kick his ass for being insensitive, of all things, or make him put_ a lot_ of money into the douche bag jar. Either way, he decided to get back on their good side.

"Do you need me to run out and get you anything, Jess? I'll even go down the "forbidden aisle" if you need it. I've over-come my fear through positive reinforcement." he offered.

"Actually," Jess started hesitantly, tapping her shaky fingers on the glass. Schmidt flinched slightly; he hadn't actually _expected_ her to take him up on his offer, but neither of them could expect Nick to leave her in her condition. "I do need something…" she wasn't sure then if she was talking so slowly out of fear of her stomach lurching again or nerves of her revelation… Maybe both?

"What's your brand?" Schmidt sighed, assuming she was talking about tampons.

"No, not that..." she shook her head, pretending not to notice Nick's scrutinizing look.

"No? Isn't it that time of the month for you?" Jess didn't even want to know why Schmidt knew that, but…

"No. I mean, yes, but no…" she sighed and cast her eyes to the floor, almost whispering her next words. "I need… a pregnancy test." With her eyes lowered and her senses dulled, she didn't see Nick's mouth drop open, didn't hear Schmidt hit the ground with a thud, didn't hear the water shut off as Winston called out,

"Nick got Jess _pregnant_? I didn't think you had it in you, Nicky boy!"

All she saw, all she heard and felt, were the tears blurring her vision as she slowly sank to the floor, surrounded by a cloud of confusion, sadness, and joy all at once.

"Jess…" Nick whispered, lowering himself down to her level as he cut his eyes to Schmidt's lump near them, he was slowly shaking himself awake; he would be fine; Nick didn't have to whack him one to bring him back to life or anything. "Jess." He said again, tilting her chin up towards him. "Hey, ssshh, what's wrong?" he asked without thinking. Of course, he knew what was wrong; she had just told him. He was such an idiot...

In hopes that she wouldn't rip his head off, he wrapped his arms around her, letting her sob onto his shoulder and wet the thin white shirt he'd slept in.

"Sshh… why are you crying?" he asked softly, trying to piece it all together. She thought she was pregnant, but… why was she so upset? So they hadn't planned on it, but they would be awesome parents, damnit! Maybe it was just hormones?

"Be-because. I'm pregnant, Nick. _Pregnant_!" she sobbed harshly. Even without a pregnancy test, she had already made up her mind that she was with child. If it turned out she wasn't, would she be upset… or relieved?

"Schmidt," Nick hissed, looking over at their stunned friend to make sure he was up and alive. He was such a baby! Fainting over Jess _maybe_ being pregnant, but when it was him and Cece in the same boat, he got all-weird, talking to her belly and making up names for the non-existent fetus in it. He was _so_ weird sometimes! "Go get her a goddamn pregnancy test."

Schmidt nodded, turned on his heel and walked off, knowing this was an important matter and his grooming ritual would have to wait until the matter was resolved. This one time, he would risk going out in public looking like an unkempt hobo. How did Nick do it, he wondered as he shut the door behind him. _How_ _did_ _Nick do it_…_?_

"Okay, c'mon, Jess." Nick finally said, slowly pulling her to her feet, wrapping his arm around her shaky form. Still sobbing, Jess allowed Nick to lead her from the bathroom to the table to allow Winston a minute to get dried off and dressed.

Nick walked to the fridge and poured Jess another cup of ginger ale, as her other one had currently been misplaced, and quickly made her a few pieces of dry toast. When he sat them down in front of her, still shell-shocked and silent, she looked up at him under her fringe of bangs, her eyes still red and wet.

"Are you going to say something?" she asked in a whisper, arms hugging her sore stomach. Nick sighed and came closer to her, tentative but sure. What did she want him to say? That he was scared and elated and worried and happy and freaking out and _this close_ to having a panic attack but was somehow keeping it all together because if he didn't Jess would freak out again and oh God – she could very well be _pregnant_ with his baby!

"Is it mine?" he asked jokingly, trying to fight back the tears stinging at his eyes when he thought about actually having a baby with her.

"Yes, it's yours." She laughed, wiping at her own eyes. Glad to have eased the tension, Nick sat down next to her, reached out and brushed a loose strand of hair back behind her ear carefully and gently.

"Come on, Jess; try to eat something." He nudged the toast closer to her, but she pushed it away instead. She couldn't eat, couldn't risk spending the next ten minutes hanging over the toilet bowl.

"No, Jess. _Try_. For me. For… for the baby." Nick sighed, pushing the plate back towards her.

Jess froze at his words, a slight smile on her face. She picked up the toast and took a slow bite, chewing thoughtfully and washing it down with a sip of ginger-ale.

With a small smile, Nick reached over and held on to one of her hands, her own teary-eyed smile forming around her mouthful of toast. Somehow, everything was going to be all right. No matter what happened.

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~

"Jess, c'mon already – how long does it take to pee on a damn stick?" Nick asked in frustration, pacing opposite Schmidt outside the stall as the three men and Cece waited for her to come back out with the pregnancy test. The deal was that they – Jess and Nick – would read it first, and then they would tell the others whatever it said. Good _or_ bad.

"Have you ever tried peeing on a stick?" Cece demanded, protective of her friend and possible fetus. "It's not as easy as you think."

"And how many times have _you_ had to pee on a stick?" Winston asked, curious and half-teasing. Schmidt and Cece both glared at him as Nick resumed his pacing. Things were still pretty awkward between her and Schmidt and the last thing she needed was for Winston to bring up _that_ little incident, thank you very much!

"Enough to know how to kill a man with it." She snapped, her empty threat met with Winston's rolled eyes and Jess unlatching the stall at last, music to Nick's stressed-out ears.

"Well?" he asked, meeting her before she could even close the door to the stall.

She looked up at him with wide eyes, the pregnancy test held tightly in her hand. She shook her head as he watched her expectantly, walked past him and towards Cece at the sink. She sat it down and turned on her heel, wrapping her robe tighter around herself as Nick walked over and risked a glance at the white stick as he wrapped an arm around her, everyone silently awaiting her answer. The outcome would affect them all in some way or another, after all.

"We won't know for three minutes." Jess finally squeaked out, falling against Nick's chest and allowing him to wrap his other arm around her.

"What are you two going to do if she _is_, you know..." Winston motioned with his hands in an abstract manner to indicate what he meant, the word _pregnant_ taboo for the moment.

"What do you mean?" Jess asked, peeking around Nick's arms to get a look at their friend as he squirmed slightly, trying not to stutter as he tried to communicate what he meant without possibly offending either of them too much.

"I mean... Are you going to keep it or –"

"Winston!" Cece smacked him with the back of her hand and glared at him.

"What?"

"She's going through a crisis situation here – how could you ask something like that?" she demanded for her friend, wanting to go and wrap her arms around her herself. But sometimes, she was slowly learning to come to grips with, Jess just wanted Nick's arms around her. And now was one of those times.

"He has a point, though." Schmidt pointed out at his own risk. "You two have jobs, sure, but you're a _teacher_ and a _bar tender_; you live in a loft with _us_ and don't have a spare room for any other mouths to feed. And, let's not forget, this isn't exactly a kid friendly environment, what with all the sex and yelling and drinking and general douche-baggery in the air..."

"What, if we had a kid you two wouldn't tone it down?" Nick asked, still holding Jess close. Winston and Schmidt had valid points, sure – there was no way either of them were ready to have a kid. But most people never were. Most children born into the world were accidents that their parents just sort of learned to cope with over time. – but if Jess was pregnant, they would _deal with it_. Because there was no way in hell he would give up having a kid with her. No matter how hard it would be or how unprepared they were.

"Well, we would have to, now wouldn't we? We'd be uncles, after all." Schmidt replied. "And I would teach that kid _so many things_! How to dress, firstly, because no nephew of mine would go around dressing like you, _Nick_, I promise you that." Schmidt told him firmly, coaxing a smile out of Nick despite the situation at hand.

"What's wrong with the way I dress?" he demanded.

"Well, I mean, it doesn't exactly attract the ladies or anything... Well, not _straight_ ladies..." Schmidt mumbled, recalling one certain night at the bar where a drunken lesbian had mistaken Nick for, well, something he would rather not talk about ever again...

"Hey, I _have_ a lady, thank you very much." he gestured at Jess, who was still gripping onto his shirt tightly, still on edge and wondering about their Fate.

It had been three minutes, had been _more_ than three minutes by this point, but she could not pry herself away from Nick just yet. Whatever their future would be, that stupid little stick would tell them. It held all the answers. If she was pregnant, that meant a freaking baby in some odd months, and then raising it for the rest of her freaking life with Nick right by her side. Don't get her wrong, she wanted kids, wanted a family with Nick – _someday_. She just... had never imagined that _someday_ would come so... _soon_.

"Yes, but if you would have let me dressed you, you would have had her a lot sooner! It took you, what, two years of pining over her for you two to finally get together? In my clothes, you would have had her in _seconds_. But nooooo!" he threw his hands up in the air, the mere memories of those two dancing around each other for so long making him cringe. All the sexual tension, all the awkwardness and the loft dynamic being thrown out of whack so many times because of those two... It all could have been avoided if Nick had only let Schmidt dress him.

No, Schmidt would not go through that again! If they had a son, he would make sure _he_ was in charge of dressing the little devil, not _Nick_. Nick would have little to no say in what the boy wore. And if it were a girl, Schmidt would make sure Jess didn't dress her in too many polka dots. Oy, they were _so_ unprepared to be having a child! At the very least, they had _him_ to look over them and the brat. That much he was thankful for. And it would be a well-dressed brat at that. Both the best _and _worst kind there was.

"I really don't think it took us so long to get together because of my clothes, Schmidt." Nick rolled his eyes, leaning down to kiss Jess on the forehead absent-mindedly.

"How long has it been?" Cece asked gently, the subject of the hypothetical child's attire dropped for the moment.

"About seven minutes and thirty seconds, thirty-one seconds, thirty-two seconds..." Winston glanced down at his watch, counting off the seconds until Cece glared at him to shut up. She was so cranky sometimes!

That's what they got, he supposed, for sending her a text reading "Jess pregnant? Help!" and not bothering to elaborate any. She had arrived in a panic, barely dressed and with only half her hair and make-up done. That was all it took to get her in a bitchy mood sometimes, though. Lucky for them, the sight of her best friend in such a state had managed to ease her attitude towards them just a little. And she hadn't even bothered to threaten to chop Nick's balls off for being so irresponsible, so she couldn't have been _that_ pissed off...

"You ready to look, sweetheart?" Nick asked, pulling back to glance down at her, unsure. She wasn't quite crying anymore, just... contemplative. Thinking. Turning things over in her head.

She had already decided that if she _were_ pregnant, they would keep it. And if she weren't... this would definitely be a catalyst to get them started talking about the future. The thing was, though, that she just couldn't decide if she _wanted_ to be pregnant or not. On the one hand: she would be pregnant with _Nick's _baby. But on the other hand: she would be _pregnant_ with Nick's baby.

She just couldn't win!

Still, she pulled back from Nick's embrace with a tentative smile, planted a butterfly soft kiss on his lips, and then walked over to the sink to pick up the test. If she remembered correctly – and she had read the box about fifty thousand times to make sure she understood what each thing meant – one line meant not pregnant, and two lines meant pregnant.

Holding it tightly in her hands, with her eyes closed just as tightly, she readied herself for whatever it might say. She held her future in her own hands now. _Literally_. Whatever the test revealed, she would be happy. She would find a silver lining and her relationship with Nick would _not_ suffer. It would be _stronger_. _They_ would be _stronger_. And she would still love him no matter what.

"Nick," she murmured, eyes still held tightly closed.

"Yeah?" he whispered, his voice closer than she thought it would be.

"I love you." she reminded him. Just so he knew.

"I love you, too." he parroted back. Just so she knew.

"Great, we all love each other – now what does it say?" Schmidt asked, just as nervous as the pair who would be directly affected by this revelation.

"Shut up, Schmidt! She will read it when she's good and ready. You have no idea how nerve-wracking this moment can be for a woman – she could be growing a life inside of her now! This could be the moment that changes her life!"

"It'll change Nick's life, too." Winston pointed out.

"Yeah, but it'll change Jess' more. She will be growing a life inside of her; she will have to push it out of her _vagina_. It might change Nick's life, but not until it's actually _here_. It starts changing her life the second she finds out what that test says. It's _different_ for the woman, Winston." Cece explained as gently as Cece possibly could at a moment like this.

"Okay, can we all stop talking for two minutes and let Jess read the test?" Nick asked, silencing them all with a look Jess couldn't see but knew well. The 'shut-up-or-the-angry-turtle-face-comes-out-to -play' look that no one really wanted to test. Like, _ever_. "Thank you. Jess, babe, what does it say?" he asked in that special tone he reserved just for her. And she knew then that even though they weren't ready for kids, if she was pregnant, that he would be a fantastic dad – just like he had promised once upon a time. Whatever happened next, he would be there. And he would totally rock every step of the way in his own _Nick_ sort of way.

Finally, Jess opened her eyes to face the test. The one that would reveal her – _their –_ future. One line not pregnant; two lines pregnant.

She took in a breath of shock as she took in what it said. One line not pregnant; two lines pregnant.

"What does it say?" they all asked, curious yet giving her the space she so dearly needed. Jess sought out Nick and grabbed his arm gently, then, still holding the test in front of her wide eyes, she moved so he could get a look. He fumbled for the box nearby and quickly scanned the back then turned back to the test itself. One line pregnant; two lines not.

"Jesus..." he mumbled, dropping the box to the ground near them.

"What does it say, damnit?"

"Schmidt, it says..." Jess's voice trembled and she tapped the test against her hand. "It says..."

"Oh for the love of God!" he rolled his eyes and picked up the box Nick had dropped. One line pregnant; two lines not.

"Oh!" he exclaimed, passing the box to Cece and Winston to look over. They read it over and then glanced at the test themselves, Jess and Nick having clearly lost vocal ability for the time being.

They each found then that their future was _certainly_ decided indeed...

**Fin. (TBC?)**

* * *

******Do you guys know what the test said? Can you guess? Also, did you notice the discrepancy between what Jess was thinking and what everyone else was thinking? Concerning the test? Their reactions coupled with **_**that **_**might just fill you in on what it said. Just so you know.**

**So I had planned from the beginning to make this one end on a cliffhanger. I didn't want to give away what the test said; I kind of want to keep you guys guessing. And the reason for this is just that I'm a pretty evil writer most of the time. I kill off innocent characters all the time in my original work. _Great_ characters, characters that everybody **_**loves**_**. When I'm not busy writing Ness fluff, that is. **

**Like, no, seriously, if I ever get any books published – which is my dream anyway – I plan to be the writer everybody loves to hate. I'm not even kidding; I will break your fucking heart. I'll spend a whole book making you fall in love with this awesome character ****– never mind the plot for five minutes ****–** I'll give him a significant other and give you a fan-freaking-tastic OTP that you ship till fucking death do you part... And then I'll go and kill him off and slaughter all your dreams of that OTP having a happily ever after. _I'll make you cry_ _all the tears..._

**So, yeah, that ****– that's the kind of writer I can be most of the time.**

*****Disclaimer***: Not all my original work ends in OTP death. Just most of it. I have plenty of work where I don't kill off the main character and you don't want to burn me at the stake. It's just not something you'll probably ever actually _see_. But it still counts!**

**Anyway, like I said before, this was a request from sophiemanic over on tumblr. She requested this one and like two others about a month or so ago, and when she requested them, I remember thinking to myself, **_Gee golly, Caitlin, why don't you do requests more often? _**This. This is why. It takes me _forever_ to actually get around to them, then more requests will start pilling up, and it'll be a constant cycle of self-loathing that I **_**just cannot deal with...**_

**Then again, if you don't mind waiting forever for me to get around to it, feel free to make a request, either here or over on my tumblr page, whichever floats your boat.**

**The TBC thing at the end is because I'm contemplating adding another chapter to wrap things up for you, but I'm pretty undecided about it right now. If enough people bitch about it, I'll probably try to get something done and uploaded within the next week or so. So let me know, otherwise I'll just stick a bow on this one and go about my merry little way. The power is in your hands, people.**

_Always,  
__Hisa-Ai.__  
_


End file.
